Sara's New Life
by Goldie
Summary: When a ghost from her past returns, what will her friends think? will Grissom be able to pull her through? Some minor language.rnChapter 8 added! Is it the end?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story, the characters belong to Anthony and TPTB.

Rating: I don't really know yet, but for now it will be rated T, for mentions of rape and abuse, as well as some death.

Author: Goldie

Summary: Sara's life has changed for the better after a young girl comes into her life after eight years.

Pairing: Hopefully will be G/S

* * *

Sara took her hand away, stood up, and headed for the door.

"It's getting late, I think it would be best if you left right now."

"No, I don't want to leave yet. I want us to be friends again, go back to the way we were before the explosion."

"I told you what you wanted to hear, and now I want you out of my house."

Grissom noticed that Sara kept looking at the clock.

"Am I keeping you from something? Maybe Hank is stopping by?"

Sara stared at him in disbelief. 'Did he just say that?'

"I see you're still jealous, you don't have to say his name with such hate though. He never did anything to YOU. I want you to leave."

Minutes passed as they stood in the doorway just staring. The moment was broken when a young girl, about eight, walked through the door. She had long curly brown hair and green eyes. The girl stopped and stared as the two adults took her in. Sara was the first to speak.

"Hey Gabby. Why don't you go start on your homework okay, I'll be there in a couple of minutes with your snack."

"Sure Sar...Mom, sorry I'm still getting used to this."

"That's okay sweety I am too. Now go start and I'll be in soon."

"What's going on here Sara? I come over and all of the sudden you have an eight year old daughter?"

"It has nothing to do with you so I want you to leave. I have someone else to think about now, and I promised her and myself that I would never ever put her through what I had to go through. So please just go."

Grissom was confused and worried and most of all hurt that she hadn't told him about her new life. He left her in her doorway as silent tears caressed his face.

* * *

The next day, work proved eventful. There were two decomps, a baby in a dumpster, and a young orphaned child that was found in an abandoned warehouse. Sara was tired to say the least and all she wanted to do was go home spend some time with her new daughter, and soak in a nice hot bath before going to bed.

Her plans were halted when she drove up to her apartment an saw Catherine at her door waiting patiently for her. 'What does she want? Gabby is gonna be home soon.'

Sara walked to her door, keys in hand, a smile plastered on her face.

"Hey Cath, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Gabby. Don't worry she's not in trouble."

"Sure, come on in. You're going to have to talk while I get her snack ready."

"When you showed up on my doorstep with a child and needed a sitter, I was there for you. I didn't want to ask any questions because I know you're such a private person, but when Gil walked into my office today...I didn't tell him anything, partly because I don't know anything, I wanted to reassure him that you were okay but I don't know that myself. I figure, now that Gabby has been here for about a month, maybe I should start asking questions."

Sara sighed. She knew the questions would come soon enough, she just didn't know if she was ready to answer them. 'Maybe I should just be direct, like I was with Grissom, but I know that I'm going to cry, and I don't want Catherine to see me like that'. With another long sigh Sara looked at Catherine.

"I don't know if I want Gabby here for this. I know it's going to be emotional and I don't want her to see me cry."

"Sure. You know, when Eddie died, I went home and cried. Lindsey woke up and...she was there for me. It was the most freeing experience."

"It's just, our relationship is still shaky. She's only been here a month and after everything she's gone through, I just don't think either one of us is ready for that kind of emotional breakdown."

"Maybe I could swing by tomorrow after your shift. Gabby can stay at the sitter's with Linds for a while and we can have a grown up talk."

"Sure, sounds like a plan, just let me talk to her first. I'll see you tomorrow."

Catherine left with the promise of being over bright and early, Sara smiled and wave to her as she drove off. When the door was closed Sara sighed again.

"How am I going to tell one of my best friends that I was raped at a party?"

When Gabby got home, Sara told her she would be at the sitters a little longer than usual. Gabby agreed whole heartedly exclaiming, "this is perfect, Lindsey just got a new PS2 game". Sara just looked at her little girl and smiled.

'How am I going to get through tomorrow?'

* * *

Please review if you want to hear how this little girl came to be. It would really feed my thoughts to hear what you think. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer in Ch.1.

I realized after I posted that I got my time line a little wrong. So to fix my mistake, I decided that I would put Gabby in home schooling.

* * *

True to her word, Catherine showed up at eight o'clock sharp. Sara was really nervous, the only person she had ever told about the rape was her rape councilor. Back then it had been hard to tell her story, especially once she found out about the baby, but she knew that today would be harder.

* * *

"Hey Cath, come in and sit down. I just have to get a few things ready"

Catherine had to walk past the kitchen area to get to the living area. As she walked past she took a peak at the contents currently taking up place on her counter. Oreo cookie ice-cream, strawberries, honeydew, and gooey chocolate chip cookies. A nice assortment of comfort food. She chuckled as she continued into the living area.

"It's not funny Cath. This is going to be really hard for me. I know that in the past we have had our differences but I do consider you one of my best friends. What I am about to tell you I have never told anyone but my councillor, Grissom only knows bits and pieces of my past. You have to promise me that what I am about to tell you will not leave this room. If I find out that Gil knows, I will be forced to leave."

Catherine sat back, shock written on her face. She had never seen Sara this serious, not even when they had an abuse case.

"I promise Sara."

Sara brought out the food and coffee. Once they were comfortable she began her story.

"It all started the day I was born really. My parents were an old couple by the time I was born, mom was in her early fifties, dad was almost sixty. They had their own Bed and Breakfast, it was nice there..."

Catherine listened intently as Sara talked of her youth, the faraway look said a lot, until it turned to that of a frightened child.

"When my mother killed my father, I found out it wasn't. I went into foster care, I was thirteen at the time. It was hard ,always moving around from home to home, but it was my life and I had to deal.

I was lucky enough to be able to stay at the same school, but I had lost all my friends, so I turned to my school work. Since then I have been a straight 'A' student.

The first two homes were perfect. I had my own room and everything. Then I moved in with the Wick's.

I shared a room with five other kids all under the age of fifteen. We were only given food after the father had his way with us. Sometimes it would be days before we got food, and when we did it was terrible, mostly semi-molding left-overs. I lost a lot of weight. When I finally ran away I was sixteen.

My aunt took me in, and I stayed there until I was eighteen. She wanted so badly for me to see a doctor but I refused, I didn't want her to know what I had gone through.

I started Harvard in the fall. At the time it was the happiest I had ever felt. I would finally be able to put my past behind me. Then I met the guest lecturer. I fell in love with his eyes first..."

Sara was brought out of her memories when the phone rang.

"Sidle"

"Sara..."

"What do you want Gil? You're calling on my home phone, so this must be a personal call."

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday, I was way out of line. I shouldn't have pushed...I was wondering if maybe you and Gabby would join me for dinner, it's on me."

"I don't think that's a very good idea Griss. Maybe another time."

As Sara hung up Catherine saw a small sad smile appear. She felt for Sara. How many times would that man hurt her?

"Catherine, I don't think I can finish this right now, at least not today. We've been talking for quite some time anyways. I need to start getting things ready for Gabby's class lesson today. Maybe you could stop by tomorrow and we could finish this little talk off. This is going to take me time to explain everything. I'm sorry."

When Catherine left Sara went to her room and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. Your kind words mean a lot. I'll try to mention names in the next chappie. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sara woke up at one thirty. Gabby didn't have to be picked up from the sitters until four, but Sara was feeling selfish. She got up, got dressed and went to get Gabby.

On the way home Sara took Gabby to the mall for some spur of the moment shopping, they headed straight for LaSenza Girl.

"Hey Gabby, look at this dress. It would look so cute on you."

The dress was a green sporty dress. Large Hawaiian flowers gave the dress a flirty feel.

"I don't like dresses anymore."

"What? Why not? Your closet at home is full of dresses"

"I want to be like you, mom. You never wear dresses, so I'm not going to anymore"

"Tell you what, I'll go buy a dress, and we can go out to dinner before I have to work. We can go somewhere fancy, and dress up, and order food with fancy names"

"Deal, but I'm going to need a fancier dress than this one"

"Let's get this one and keep looking okay"

Gabby looked up at Sara and smile her agreement.

* * *

By five they were back at home getting ready for their night out, by six the ladies were well on their way to the restaurant, and by six-thirty they had been seated and served.

"Sara?"

Sara turned at hearing her name, and saw a very stunned Gil and a smug looking Sofia. She smiled politely as the bile rose in her throat at seeing them together.

"Hey Sofia. Gil,I guess your dinner invitation this morning really did mean nothing"

Gabby was sitting in her chair watching the adults interacting, waiting for the perfect moment to butt in.

Gil stared at Sara and Gabby and thought to himself, 'God they look beautiful. I wish I was sitting with them and enjoying life with them'

Sara and Gabby were wearing similar dresses. Both were elegant and black. Sara's was sleeveless with a plunging neck line, while Gabby's dress was simply elegant for a little girl her age, she looked like a little princess. Gil smiled a small sad smile at the realization that he would never be her father.

"Wow Sara, you look..." he was at a loss for words. 'What do you say to a woman who knocks the breath out of you when she wares a blue forensic jumper?'

Gabby had found her moment. "She looks beautiful doesn't she. Mom always looks beautiful, but tonight she looks happy too."

Sara blushed, Gil blushed, Sofia fumed, and Gabby looked on innocently.

"Sara" hearing her name roll off Sofia's tongue made her visibly cringe. "Since when do you have a kid? Is she some mistake that you are embarrassed of? She's what, eight, how come you nevermentioned her before?"

Sara looked at Gabby, smiled reassuringly, signaled the waiter for her check, paid and stood up.

"For you information, you little bitch, she is the most important person in my life, not that you would know what that was like. Don't you EVER talk about my little girl like that again or you will find yourself in a less than favorable position."

As Sara turned and saw the tears running down little Gabby's face she softened her tone.

"I'll see you at work tonight Gil"

As she turned and left Sofia finally found her voice. "Was that a threat Sidle?"

"More like a promise." Sara smiled took her little girls hand and walked out of the restaurant

Sofia turned to Gil, "What was that all about? She didn't have to bite my head off"

"Shut up Sofia! I really don't carethat you want to leave the lab. you know what, don't even bother signing all the right forms and shit. As of now you are fired. This...what ever 'this' is, is over"

"You can't do that!"

"I just did!"

* * *

By the time he got out to the parking lot, Sara was already gone. Two lone tears escaped his eyes. One for Sara and one for the family that he wished was his, but knew never would be.

* * *

Thanks to the following reviewers for your kind thoughts:

Moonpattern, Peggiegg, sassysarasidle, katie, dadsgirl4ever, Midnight's Angelic Guardian, leothelion04, nina90, planetmarz, and lastly, summababy.

I'm sorry this chapter is so short. The next one will be longer. Hopefully in the next chapter Sara will finish telling her story. When will Gil find out, and what will he do?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: As promised, I give you a longer chapter. This story has a lot of talking on Sara's part, but I urge you to read through all of it.

* * *

Sara sat in her jeep in the CSI parking lot watching the time pass slowly by. She was going to piss him off for what he did.

"How dare he ask me out and then go out with **_her_** when I say no, not that I expected him to stay home alone, I mean come on, what else has he got to do but ride roller coasters. God, now I'm talking to myself, and out loud is even better!".

As the half hour past she decided it had been long enough and headed into the building. As she rounded the corner, she saw Grissom talking with Catherine. The thought to turn around and walk the other way had crossed her mind, but she refused to let him win.

As she approached them, she could hear them talking.

"I'm worried about her Cath. Sara is never late for work. Not only that, she's changed lately."

"Gil, Sara is a big girl. She can handle her own demons. She doesn't need you looking out for her."

The soft clearing of her throat alerted the two of her presence, causing both to turn and stare at her. Without a word Gil grabbed her arm and pulled her into his office, Catherine hot on their heels. Once the door was firmly shut, Gil let loose.

"What is with you lately, Sara? You show up to work a half hour late, and just waltz in her like you own the place. Not to mention the fact that we're short staffed as it is. I had to borrow Nick so that I could send Greg out on the field, because **_you_** weren't here for **_whatever reason_**!".

"You want to know why I'm late? I sat in the car park for a half hour talking to myself about **_how much of an ass you are_**. Not to mention the fact that Gabby was so upset after we left the restaurant because of what Sofia said, that she started throwing up. Maybe when a child you thought you would never see again shows up on **_your_** doorstep, maybe, **_just maybe_**, you'll understand how **_I _**feel." Sara stopped to regroup before she let too much out to the wrong person, then asked one final question. "If you were so worried about me, why didn't you try to find me?".

Gil just looked at Sara. He didn't know what to say so he said the only thing he could think of.

"As of now there are no new cases. If Gabby is so sick maybe you should go home and look after her. Right now she needs you more than I do." The last part was said on a whisper.

Catherine and Sara looked at him as if he'd grown another head.

Catherine spoke softly. "Sara, my shift is over so why don't I take you home. You're really upset right now. I'm sure Stacy can handle Gabby, god knows I've left her with Lindsey in worse shape. We can talk, or sit and watch T.V. whatever you'd like."

Sara looked physically and emotionally spent. She didn't want to deal with Catherine right now, she just wanted to go home and sleep, but for some reason she found herself agreeing.

* * *

The ride home was silent. Sara sat in the passenger seat of Catherine's Jeep trying to think of what she was going to say. Catherine drove on auto pilot as she thought about what Sara had said and what was yet to come.

Once in her apartment, Sara sat in her favorite chair and started crying. She cried and cried for almost an hour. Once she had calmed down, Catherine headed to the kitchen to brew them some coffee. When it was done, she set a cup down in front of Sara and herself.

Catherine looked up when she heard Sara begin to speak.

"That first year at Harvard, all I did was study, I didn't really have any friends. When my bitch of a roommate up and left I was so glad that I wouldn't have to up with her taunting anymore. Then Maggie moved in. It was weird you know, she wanted to be my friend. I thought I could trust her, so when she invited me to an off-campus party, I agreed. I told her I didn't want to drink a lot because I had an exam I needed to study for.

I had only had one drink and I was feeling really dizzy so she helped me to a room. As soon as I walked in, I felt that something was wrong. There were candles and the lights were off. I remember laying there as it happened and thinking to myself that it was all my fault. I woke up in my dorm room, I thought that maybe it had all been a bad dream, until I saw the blood. I went to the hospital and they did an exam, and that was the end of it.

I went back to the school, got a transfer to a different room, then just continued on like nothing happened. Grissom left a month after it happened, he could probably tell you that I changed a lot after that. We never went for coffee, I stopped asking questions in class, and that was that."

Sara looked at Catherine for the first time since everything at the office. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Sara continued.

"I found out I was pregnant a month after Gil left. I thought about confiding in him, but I knew he would feel guilty for not being there with me. I knew he would come back to help me with the baby and I didn't want to burden him with my problems. Gabby was born five months later. They wouldn't let me hold her. She was so small. I made sure that she would be placed with a loving family. I never saw her again.

A month and a half ago social services called me. They told me that Gabby's parents had been in an accident and didn't make it. They had no family to look after Gabby. They thought that since I had signed the papers so she could find me, maybe I would take her in. I hung up, cried, phoned them back, and here I am today."

Sara smiled through her tears and looked to Catherine. Catherine smiled back and then spoke for the first time after everything had been said.

"You need to talk to him Sara. I remember when he came home from that seminar. He distanced himself from everyone. I'm going to tell you a secret okay." Sara nodded, "He told me he had fallen in love with this woman, didn't tell me anything more about her other than how she changed, and left him. He loves you Sara. You need to tell him."

Sara looked at her feet. "I know."

* * *

So what do you think?

A/N2: i don't know if Social Services actually does that, so please forgive me.

TBC?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Due to insomnia caused by two eight year olds on sugar, I am updating a day early. This is also for all you wonderful readers out there.

* * *

After Catherine left, Sara decided to head over to the sitters to get Gabby. She was going through the intersection when a car slammed into her passenger door.

* * *

On the third ring Gil picked up. "Grissom."

"Mr. Grissom. This is Stacy. I look after Lindsey and Gabby. I don't mean to worry you, but Sara hasn't been by to get Gabby. I tried to call her but her cell is off. Catherine and Lindsey left this morning and I didn't know who else to call."

"I'll be right there Stacy."

While on his way to the sitters Gil passed an ambulance loading up a young girl, or so he thought. Ten minutes later he was doing his best to reassure this precious being that her mom was okay. It wasn't until he went back through the intersection that he noticed the smashed jeep.

Now on auto pilot, Gil drove the little girl to the emergency room, praying to god that Sara really was okay.

The first thing the nurse noticed was the little girl crying hysterically, the next thing was the man yelling to get her attention.

"I'm sorry sir. Who are you looking for?"

"Sara Sidle. I believe she was just brought in, an accident maybe."

"Are you family?"

"Me? No, but this is her daughter. We need to see her right away."

"I'll see what I can do."

More than an hour later Gil and Gabby were taken to the appropriate waiting room. There they waited to hear about Sara's condition. It wasn't until about an hour later that a doctor finally came out.

"Ms. Sidle?"

Gil looked up from the sleeping form of the little angle in his lap.

"That's us."

"Ms. Sidle wasn't injured too badly. She does have a fractured arm, from the air bag, a minor concussion, and a few cuts and bruises. She should be fine in a couple days, but I want to keep her here for observation. She's lucky that one. Got out pretty un-scathed compared to the guy who hit her. She's been placed in a room, you can go sit with her if you'd like. She probably won't be able to talk; we have her on some heavy pain killers right now."

"Thank you doctor."

Gil carried the still sleeping Gabby to her mother's room, where he gently laid her on the bed. He took the only chair in the room and sat and watched her sleep.

* * *

Gil woke when he felt her soft fingers rubbing the skin on the back of his hand.

"Thank you for getting Gabby. I tried to tell them to call you, but they wouldn't listen to me. All they kept saying was 'miss you have a concussion, you need to lie down.' finally they had to sedate me" she laughed at remembering the looks of worry on the paramedics faces. "I was so worried about Gabby. Thinking she would lose another parent to an accident." Sara paused in thought, and then continued. "We have so much to talk about Gil." Sara was tired, he could tell.

"Sara, honey, I want you to sleep now okay." as she drifted off he stood, kissed her forehead, and said, "I love you, okay. Don't you ever forget that I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here."

A happy smile graced her lips as she slipped into a drug induced coma.

* * *

_Sara was sitting in a hospital bed as tears streaked her face. They had taken her baby from her and there was nothing she could do about it._

_Eight years later Sara was sitting in her bed holding the frightened child, rocking her into a somewhat peaceful sleep. It was two weeks ago that she had gotten the call from social services explaining the situation to her. Of course she agreed to take her child back, who wouldn't. Sara looked down at the dark wavy curls and smiled, her being was whole again._

_The next morning, Sara was in full panic mode. She had tried her best to set things up on her own but for some reason it just didn't want to work. In her panic stricken haze, she got Gabby into the car and headed straight for Catherine's place.

* * *

_

Gil watched as Sara tossed and turned, as much as one could in a hospital bed occupied by another person, then wrappe her arms around Gabby in the most motherly way. It brought tears to his eyes. He would do anything to keep Sara and that little girl safe, and as he sat in the hard plastic hospital chair, he vowed to himself that he would do anything in his power to be the one that kept them safe and warm at night.

* * *

A/N2: Thank you to the following reviewers, (sorry if I leave anyone out, I'll do my best not to leave you out.)

Msgrits, Veronica10, Katie, BlueButterflyCSI, like im sayin it, sassysarasidle (I think she's working for him to ;-)), Wiccamage, summababy, dew2adidas, Jessica Summers (Starting on the flashbacksof their first weeks together. Even if it is just a dream.), Firebird Phoenix, brainfear.


	6. Chapter 6

_Sara remembered walking through the juniors department, when Sara had shown up on her door step, Catherine had suggested taking the young girl shopping. So now, here she was with her daughter, walking through uncharted territory. She didn't know what little girls liked to wear, and she still needed to get stuff for the spare room where the girl would be staying from now on._

_Fifteen outfits later the ladies headed for the closest Ikea. Gabby was amazed at what the store held. She had never gotten to decorate her own room before. Her parents had always had it done for her. _

"_Sara, could I paint my room yellow? I always liked yellow, but my parents never let me pick the colors for my room. It was always pink. I don't hate pink, but it's not my favorite."_

_The little girl looked embarrassed, Sara noted. 'Just like me, always over talking. It's cute.'_

"_Sweety...why don't you just call me mom okay. I kind of feel like I'm just watching you when you call me Sara."_

"_Okay..."_

'_We're both new at this. I don't know how to treat an eight year old. I just wish Cath or Linds would have come along."_

"_You know what Gabby? I love Yellow. I was going to paint my living room yellow and my bathroom purple, but I decided to do the opposite, and I feel the same way about pink."_

_Gabby looked up at her mom and smiled the way only a kid can. She was so excited. Sara would remember that look forever.

* * *

_

Something felt different. Sara opened her eyes to blinding white walls. 'This isn't my room. My walls are red.' she could feel Gabby moving around on the bed. She tried hard to focus but her head was pounding.

"Sara, honey. Don't move around too much okay. How much of yesterday do you remember?"

Sara cleared her throat. "I remember going through the intersection, and I remember the truck coming and hitting me, then I remember telling them to call you. I also remember telling this to you yesterday." She laughed lightly.

"I see your sense of humor wasn't lost in the accident." Grissom gave Sara a reassuring smile.

"I've been remembering things...about when Gabby first came to me. I wanted to tell you but I just didn't know how. I took as little time off as I could so you wouldn't suspect anything.

When I had her, I was scared what you would think of me. I wouldn't be pure for you if anything ever did happen. We were getting closer, we almost went past that line a few times. After you left and I was raped..." Gil took in a sharp breath hearing what had happened to her. "I wanted to tell you, I did, I was scared, so I pushed you away. I'm so sorry Gil."

Big fat tears fell down her face, but before Gil could do anything the doctor walked in.

"Mrs. Sidle, glad to see your up. I'll try not to wake the little one while I check you over."

Sara sniffed back her tears "Gil could you take Gabby."

"Sure." Gil carefully took the sleeping child form her mothers arms.

The doctor checked her eyes and blood pressure, and made sure her cuts were healing properly. "Everything looks great. I don't see why you can't leave today. I'll get the nurse to bring you the discharge papers."

An hour later Sara was allowed to leave the hospital, after filling out the forms and receiving the 'you can't work or lift heavy objects' speech.

* * *

Gil drove Gabby, now awake, and Sara home to her apartment. Once inside Gil set about getting things in order and making sure Sara's pain pills were sorted and out of reach of Gabby.

"Gil you don't have to do this. I should be fine, Gabby can help a little and if I need anything I will call you."

She saw his shoulders visibly fall. When he turned around he had the most hurt look in his eyes.

"I would have been there for you Sara, I would have stayed and looked after you and Gabby. I could have been her father."

Gabby was looking between the two adults. She had always just kind of thought that Sara and her biological father weren't ready for kids, and that was why she was given up. She looked back to Sara with a questioning look in her eye before asking the question that was now on her mind.

"Mom? Who, and where is my biological father?"

Sara's face paled just before she ran for the bathroom. Gil stood outside the door as he heard her get sick.

"Uncle Gil? What's wrong with mommy? Is she going to be okay? I didn't mean to make her sad, I wish I wasn't born. Then you and mommy would be happy together."

The little girl was crying hysterically, Gil was worried she might make herself ill as well.

As Sara heard the admission from the little girl she just cried harder. How had her life become such a mess. Yes she loved Gabby, with all her heart. Why did Gil have to be so insensitive? She hadn't told him, why in hell would she have told her daughter that she was the result of a rape? Sara just cried harder.

Gil was now in full panic mode. Things were fine when they had gotten home. Then he had to go and open his big mouth in front of the fragile child. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid.' thought Gil. 'No wonder she didn't tell me.'

By now all three habitants were crying, weather it be out loud like the two ladies or silently like Gil.

How had everything gotten so messed up, and how would he fix it?

* * *

I hope you enjoy this new chapter. The net one will hopefully be up before Sunday.

Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. I will try to mention you all at the end of the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I know I promised this chapter two days ago but things got busy. This chapter is pretty heavy with emotional baggage, and kind of short. Next one will be longer.

* * *

Sara woke up on the bathroom floor, her neck hurt so badly. She stepped out and saw the most beautiful sight. After Gabby's harsh words, the three had cried themselves to sleep, but not before Grissom had wrapped Gabby in his arms and rocked her to sleep, just like she had done a month before. 

Sara was hurting for Gabby. She wanted to explain things to her, but she was just too young to understand. She went to her study and sat at her desk.

Sara walked into the kitchen and found Gil bent over the stove stirring some kind of a sauce. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar.

The tension in the room was thick, and the silence was eerie. Sara was the first to speak.

"Where's Gabby?"

Grissom didn't look up from stirring, he cleared his throat before answering, he didn't want her to know that he was crying "I took her to her room. I figured she would wake up and come out when she was ready."

Silence descended over the room again. Sara looked at her hands, she didn't know what to say to him. Now that he knew what happened, she feared he would run, even if he said he wouldn't.

Sara stood and left the room. When she returned carrying a small box, she saw that Gabby had woken and was now at the table eating silently. Sara sat beside her daughter, trying to ignore Grissom's presence, placing the box in front of Gabby before saying, "After they took you, I cried for days. I hadn't gotten a chance to see you because you were so small. About a month later I got a letter in the mail, it was from your parents. They wanted to see how I was doing, and they wanted to let me know that you were okay. Every month they sent me pictures of you and I would just cry, when you were six months old I asked them to stop, it was just too painful. When your first birthday rolled around, I locked myself in my dorm room, I missed all my classes that day. I wrote you a letter, and did so every year after that. I never wished that you weren't born, never, I loved you so much. As the years past, it got easier, I didn't cry as much. When I moved to Vegas, I thought I would be able to move on, but then I saw uncle Gil." Sara paused, giving her daughter and Gil time to really hear her words.

Gabby's small voice cut in. "What was so special about uncle Gil? Is he my daddy?" Gabby's voice was hopeful.

"No baby, he isn't, but I wish he was." Sara risked a glance in his direction, she saw so many things in his eyes. 'Does he wish he was Gabby's father?' She quickly shook the thought form her head. "Uncle Gil and I were in a relationship for a while, it was getting pretty serious. When he had to go home we swore we would talk everyday, and visit each other all the time, but then something bad happened to mommy. I didn't tell him, instead I pushed him away. I know that this is probably really hard for you to understand, I don't even understand all of it. Anyways, I want you to take this box, and every time things seem bad, I want you to read my letters, maybe then you'll see how much i love you, and know that everyday i am glad that you were born."

Gabby hugged her mom with everything she had. Sara cried, but they were tears of happiness.

Gil cleared his throat, "I need to go out for a minute." he didn't offer anymore of an explanation, he just turned and left.

* * *

He had to leave, he couldn't handle all the things Sara was saying. Did she still love him? Did she still want to have a family with him? He drove home in silence. Once he was inside he headed straight for his room. There was something he needed to do that he should have done a long time ago. 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Bold lettering is a flashback/memory

* * *

It was late when Gil arrived back at Sara's place, he wasn't even sure if she would still be up, but he had to try. He knocked once, waited, and knocked again. Finally, after three tries, a sleepy Sara opened the door.

"Do you have any idea what time it is Gil?"

"I'm really sorry, and I know your pain pills knock you out, but I had to see you...had to fix things."

As she let him into her apartment she continued on. "Fix what Gil? As far as I know nothing's broken."

As she sat on the couch, Grissom kneeled in front of her and took her hands into his. Mindful of the little girl sleeping in the room just down the hall, Gil began in a whisper.

"Sara, honey, seeing you with Gabby...it makes me wish she were mine. When you told me what happened to you I wanted to physically harm the guy who hurt you, but that's in the past now. You've dealt with it, and so must I." He couldn't look her in the face. He hoped that one day he would be able to tell her how he felt without being shy, but he continued on. "Everyday that I saw the both of you, my heart hurt. Questions kept running through my mind. 'Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she trust me?' then I realized how selfish I was being, but I also knew the answer. I left you alone in San Fran. I left the one I loved, for a job. I can get a job anywhere, but you are a once in a lifetime opportunity and I know that now." He paused to breath before he continued. "What I'm about to do I should have done a long time ago Sara. I love you, more than I could ever show. I want for you and Gabby and I to be a family...for me to be her dad...I want to spend the rest of my life watching out for both of you. Worrying about boys and school work, I want it all, and I want it with you. Sara please would you marry me, after everything I've done?"

When he finally stopped talking he looked up into her eyes...only to see them shut, moments before her soft snoring hit his senses. He smiled softly and carried her to her bed. He knew her pain pills were strong, he should have known she'd fall asleep, but he knew he had to try, so he did. Maybe now it would be easier.

* * *

Sara woke up, only when an eight year old began jumping on her bed. 

"Mommy, mommy. Uncle Grissom left you a note. You really need to wake up and see it. Right now mommy, wake up, hurry!"

"I'm up baby, I'm up. Just give me a minute to get dressed."

Gabby bounded from the room, and Sara hurriedly got dressed so she could find out what had her little girl in such a mood.

As soon as she stepped into the hallway, Sara knew something was different, it smelled different. As she rounded the corner, she came face to face with dozens of roses. Red, white, pink, yellow, there were, what looked to be, hundreds of roses. Gabby was standing somewhere in the middle, she looked like an angel, Sara started to cry. She thought last night was a dream, but now she was beginning to think otherwise as she stood in the hallway looking at all the roses.

Gabby crawled her way to the breakfast bar, grabbed the note, and handed it to her mom.

Sara was still in tears as she began to read.

_My dearest Sara,_

_I don't know how much you heard last night, but I am sure that you have figured out the jist of it by now. _

_I would be honored if Gabby and you would join me at the place I first met her. _

_I know right now that place doesn't hold fond memories, but I would like to make some._

_I will be there waiting for you, my dearest Sara._

_I would wait a lifetime for you._

_Truly yours, Gilbert Douglas Grissom._

As soon as Gabby noticed that her mother was finished reading the note, she started in.

"Is he gonna ask you to marry him? I want him to be my daddy, I really like him. Please can we go meet him? PLEASE MOM!"

"You read the note?"

"I was curious, just like you. I'm sorry for reading it, but could we please go get him?"

* * *

Gilbert Douglas Grissom sat at the table waiting for his Sara and his Gabby to arrive He hadn't been waiting very long. As he was getting ready to leave, he received a phone call from Gabby. As it turned out she had woken up early and her curiosity had gotten the best of her, for that he was grateful. If she hadn't have called him he would have been sitting in the restaurant for almost two hours, as it was he had already been there for half an hour. 

He new instantly when his family had arrived, he looked up and saw Sara holding Gabby, as if to protect her from some unknown force. Before she had even reached the table, Gil was up and out of his chair kneeling before her, looking into her eyes.

"Sara Elizabeth Sidle would you marry me?" Gil held open the little velvet box. As Sara looked down at the ring a memory flashed.

* * *

_**It was a cold boston night, Sara and Gil were walking hand in hand down a busy boston street. Sara stopped suddenly causing Grissom's arm to jerk backwards. There was a ring a window, it had caught her eye.**_

_**"This is just like my mothers ring." it was her only explanation as a single tear fell down her cheek.**_

_**In that moment he knew it was THE ring. The next morning he went back to that store and bought it, only he never got the chance to give it to her.

* * *

**_

"You remembered!" Big fat salty tears fell down her face. She felt silly standing there, everybody watching, but for some reason she didn't care.

Gabby looked at her mother and smiled, before shouting 'YES'. The whole crowd burst out laughing, including Sara and Gil, but then she herself nodded as he slipped the ring on her finger.

Gil looked up at Gabby and watched her face as he pulled out another box. "Gabby Ann Sidle, would you do me the honor of becoming my daughter?"

Gabby wiggled out of her mothers arms and jumped right into her future fathers arms. Gil took that as a yes and opened the box, only there was no ring in this one. Instead inside lay a necklace with a small rose pendant. Gabby cried, but wasn't quite sure why.

All the patrons burst into a round of applause as Gil led his new family to their table.

* * *

I don't know if I should end this here, or if I should continue on. Your wonderful reviews really make me want to keep writing, so please don't hesitate to tell me what you think. 

A big shout out to those of you who have reviewed:

brainfear, Moonpattern, Wiccamage, Oh My gahhhd, Katie, S, EllowynTinuviel, Nerwen Aldarion, sassysarasidle, trainerker, Veronica10.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update this story. I had a wicked ear infection so spent most of the time in bed. I have a few ideas for this story, so I promise the next chapter will come sooner.

* * *

Sara sat staring at her engagement ring thinking how much her life had changed and how many more changes she had to look forward to. It had been two months since Gil proposed, two weeks since she had been allowed back to work after the accident, and about two hours since she had found out she was pregnant.

They weren't trying for a baby, but somewhere in the back of Sara and Gil's minds, they desperately wanted a baby.

Sara was still looking at her ring when Gil walked in the door with Gabby.

"Mommy, are you okay? Daddy said you were sick at work."

It brought a smile to Gil's face every time Gabby called him Dad. It was still very knew but it was something he had dreamed of for a long time.

"I'm fine sweety. How was school?"

Sara and Gil had decided it was time for Gabby to go to school. Because she was home schooled by a physicist and was brilliant on her own, Gabby had been placed one grade ahead and the teachers were thinking of skipping her another grade.

"It was great. This girl, Stephanie, asked me if I would help her with her Math and Sciencehomework. So, I was wondering if maybe she could come over for a sleep over this weekend. We'll be really quiet, I promise."

"Mommy and Daddy will have to talk about it, but we'll see okay. I can't promise anything though."

"This is gonna be so cool!"

Gabby headed for her room with her book bag to work on her homework.

Gil and Sara walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Gil had sent Sara home halfway through shift. She had looked a little pale and he was worried about her.

"Are you really okay?"

"Uh-huh. How did the Rivers case turn out?"

"Turns out, the son came home early from school and found his dad with another man. He was really upset and freaked. Killed dad and his new boyfriend. He was pretty shaken up, he appeared really appalled with what he did. I just hope the D.A. will see that and go easy on him." Gill looked deeply into Sara's eyes. "Now I'm only going to ask this one more time and I want the truth. How are you?"

Sara returned the look and smiled for all she was worth. Instead of the one thousand watt smile he usually saw, Gil was now looking at a two thousand watt smile.

"I didn't lie to you Gil, I am fine. What you saw today was just the early symptoms of pregnancy. I just found out before you got home."

Gil smiled back, a genuinely happy smile. "I suppose were going to have to tell everyone about us then."

Sara nodded and then turned serious. "We can tell them about the engagement, but I want to go to the doctors and wait till I am a little further along, just in case something happens."

"I think that sounds good, and nothing is going to happen. When do you want to tell Gabby?"

"Her birthday is coming up, maybe we could tell her then, or should we wait until I'm past my first trimester?"

"How about we see how you feel when Gabby's birthday rolls around. I love you."

Gil leaned over and kissed Sara's belly. In a few months he would be kissing their baby.

Sara ran her fingers through Gil's curls. "I love you too. Now, about this sleep over?"

"It will be her first sleep over since she's been with us. I think we should let her do it. Maybe let her invite a couple more girls, rent some movies, go all out, but only if you fell up to it."

"As long as we both have this weekend off I don't see why not. I don't think I could do it alone."

"Let's go tell her the good news then."

Gil and Sara walked to their little girls room to tell her the good news.

* * *

A big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, it really means a lot that you want more.

Don't forget to review, like I mentioned before, it really means a lot.


	10. Chapter 10

By seven thirty there were six kids sitting in the Grissom's living room. They ranged in age from eight to ten.

'So far so good' thought Gil as he brought the pizza into the kitchen. He was not a nieve person, he was just waiting for something bad to happen, he knew he would be walking on egg shells all night.

Sara smiled as all the girls got comfortable on the couch, it was a snug fit but they didn't seem to mind to much, so neither would she.

They had talked about taking the girls out to a movie, but Sara was getting sicker everyday, or so it seemed. Instead they opted for a night in with movies and popcorn, as well as pizza and a lot of other junk food. Little did they know, kids plus sugar equals a LONG night.

Gabby put in 'Sleep over' and the girls settled down, at least for now. Sara and Gil headed for their bedroom to watch a little T.V. to give Gabby and her friends some privacy, so they could talk about boys and what singer was the big thing.

"Do you think their going to be okay in there by themselves? What if someone gets hurt? Or if they're not having fun, Gabby will be crushed."

Gil paced the room as he voiced his fears. Not only was this Gabby's first sleep over, it was his first to. He didn't know what to do in this situation, it was all very knew to him. Just before he reached the door Sara grabbed his wrist and pulled him into her arms.

"Baby, everything is going to be fine. Gabby and her friends are fine, they know where to find us if they need anything. I know this is your first sleep over, it's mine too. We can go check on them when the movie is over." Sara looked into his panicked eyes. "I love you, and I would never lie to you, everything is going to be fine, I promise."

Gil looked into Sara's eyes and saw nothing but honesty, he sighed giving into her truth. "I know you're right, I trust you with all I am. This is just so knew to me. Most parents have years to go through all this stuff, I just don't know how to deal with it, and I don't know how you can be so relaxed about all of this."

"I trust Gabby, I want her to have fun. The only way that's going to happen is if we leave her and her friends to be." she leaned up and kissed him "besides, it's better for the baby if I stay relaxed. I'm only at nine weeks, but by the time Gabby's birthday rolls around I should be able to freak out a little more. Speaking of which, I set up an appointment with Dr. Stone for a week from today. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

As he kissed his wife, Gabby poked her head into the room.

"Mom, Dad, some of the girls were wondering if we could play some games now."

* * *

The rest of the night went smoothly, there was little studying going on, but there would be time for that later. The girls finally crashed at around two in the morning, and Gil and Sara cleaned till three before heading off to bed themselves. At two in the afternoon all the girls had been picked up.

Gabby bound into the kitchen. "Last night was SO COOL. Before mom and dad died, we had talked about me having a sleep over," Gabby looked at the floor remembering how things were. "Thank you so much for letting me do this. I had SO MUCH FUN!" Gabby ran to her room excitedly, all memories of her past forgotten for the time being.

Sara watched Gabby's retreating form. "Just think Gil, another, oh I don't know, six years and we get to do this all over again. You do know she's going to want to do this again for her birthday right."

Gil sighed. "I know, but last night went pretty well. Next time will be a piece of cake."

* * *

Famous last words right...lol. How do we think the birthday party is gonna turn out?

I know this chapter kind of sux, but it's late and I'm tired, but I did it for all of you actually reading this story.

As usual, thanks to those of you who reviewed my last chapter. It really does mean a lot, cus I know people are reading..lol

R&R!


	11. Chapter 11

Sara stared down at her protruding belly. She was eight and a half months pregnant with their second child.

Emily Elizabeth Grissom was born January 14 2006, early in the morning. Gil had been at work when Gabby had called him, he had dropped everything, quite literally, and rushed home.

Now they were expecting a little boy. Gil was happy with his girls, but he longed for a son, and now it was going to happen.

Gabby was excited, she helped out as much as she could around the house. Picking up toys, and clothes, she cooked sometimes, and occasionally got to feed her sister. She couldn't wait for her little brother to get here.

Emily was just over two years old. She knew that mommy was getting bigger, and her parents and sister kept saying that there was going to be a baby, but she just really didn't care too much.

A lot had happened since Sara had found out she was pregnant again. They bought a new house in a good neighborhood, Gil quit his job and was teaching again, and still consulting on major cases. Sara had been promoted to day shift supervisor, and was working over Greg and a couple of new CSI's from around the country. She felt freer to be herself. Ecklie had been offered a job in some far away city and ended up taking it, in his place was Catherine. Nick was still recovering from his attack, but he was finally starting to take on some more shifts. Warrick had proposed to Mia and they had just moved in together when they found out she too was pregnant.

Riley Aaron Grissom was born September 10, 2008. He was just like his father, calm and relaxed, with big bright blue eyes. Sara and Gild had sat up countless nights and talked about their life and how everything had worked out.

They were all one big happy family that was expanding every day, and Sara loved it. She wouldn't change one thing about her past, because she was happy with her new life.

* * *

Okay, so this is the end. I didn't seem to get any reviews for my last chapter, so I figured I would just end it here.

Thank you to everyone who stood by me with this story, it was a blast to write.


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